African Sisters & Flowers

This weekend was full of laughs for me I tell you. First of all, on Saturday, my church (where I worship) held a welcome party for FRESHERS. The event was tagged, “The Red Carpet Event”. We even had the fancy ‘Grammy-like’ banner background for attendees to get their snap shots taken. Everyone looked absolutely fabulous (myself inclusive). The comperes were hilarous – dissing on anything and anyone is skirts or trousers. From your Brazilian weave to the bow-tie you had on, nothing escaped their scathing gaze. I was lucky to have effectively dodged their sarcastic comments, which were all made in good faith and had everyone LOL-ing & LMAO-ing.

Sunday came, and I went to a friend’s church to attend a special program dubbed “Destiny Moulding Summit”. The event was designed to cut across everything (at least almost everything) about your life. The highlight was the talk show where about 5 people from the congregation were called forth to discuss a range of topics such as talent and skill building, getting a job to marriage and dating. Trust yours truly, my ears and eyes were at attention – sharp & alert. I knew it was going to be potential content for this blog, and the event did not disappoint me.

The pastor’s wife was one of the panelists. As she was sharing her dating experience before she finally married the pastor, she made a passing comment about how African men are NOT romantic. One guy in the congregation vexed big time. He raised his hand immediately she finished, indicating that he wanted to contribute for everyone to hear. An official gave him the microphone and here is what he said (paraphrased):

Credit: 123RF

Mama, you made a statement there that African men are not romantic. What can we do to please African girls na? If I bought a flower for a … girl, she would appreciate it. She would keep it in her room, and nourish it to survive for another two weeks. If I buy flower for an African girl… Mama you know na(at this point someone in the congregation offered)she will flog you with it.”

Laughter broke out in the church because African men and women made up majority of the congregation. The panelist took the microphone to respond after the laughter subsided. She said it was a matter of culture, and that there is something called love-language. A man should speak the love-language his woman understands. If she doesn’t want flowers, then she wants something else, it is your job to find out.

Guess what the flower alternatives were (gleaned from shouts among the congregation) – brazilian weaves, peruvian weaves, bags, shoes, iPhones and Blackberry hehehehe!!

On a serious note though, please enlighten me, are African men romantic? If no, what do we need to teach them in this department?

I really had fun this weekend. It’s monday tomorrow, I have a bunch of readings to complete. I best be on my way now.

Have a fab week ahead.



7 thoughts on “African Sisters & Flowers

  1. Kitua says:

    Ice-creams and cake too…lolzzz

  2. Tomexy says:

    LOL @ Kitua. Someone just told me she won’t mind the flowers, as long as they come with chocolate and diamonds 😀

  3. lolahbf says:

    My dad is O_O I’ve learnt from him that the littlest things count. You don’t have to buy brazillian weave.

  4. ixmedia1 says:

    Great job tomi..bless

  5. MediAfritiQ says:

    Loving your blog as usual Tomy, the answer all boils down to culture. If we were flogged as kids, we will most probably flog our own kids. If our parents were romantic, we will most likely be romantics or look for romance. Be it an African, African American, or Asian etc. Some cultures nurture and applaud romance while others shove it under rug, to the point where love comes in what you can offer materially more than what you can offer emotionally or what you can offer to appeal to your partner’s senses.
    I guess my blessing and my curse is that I’m too emotional. That said, man shall not live by bread keep it coming Tomi. hope grad school’s treating you well sis 🙂

  6. Tomexy says:

    MediaAfritiq… miss you on your blog tho… been quite a while. I agree with you about the cultural differences. I don’t think being romantic or not is about race, more like personal convictions and the environment one grew up in as you have mentioned.
    Thanks for reading… I am highly motivated by the comments and offline messages I get 🙂 (make sure you blog soon too)

  7. ukagwu says:

    OMG!!! 60k brazillian weave.. Let them wait…LOL.. Well.. Everyone has different preferences.. I think it just depends on the guy figuring out what the girls favorite things are.. Then surprises.. My very close female friend tells me girls love surprises.. I think to increase the romantic-ity level.. Apply surprise power..LOL..

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